GI Joe Rise Of The Cobra – Movie Review

movie reviewPurely out of honest curiousity i thought, “hey… wasn’t there this weird movie with these weird suits that remind me on the crysis game?!”. And yes there was a movie. It was the GI Joe movie. Now growing up in former east germany i never had the chance to become familiar with the toys or comics or whatever existed for the GI Joe universe. In later years of course i picked up that there was quite a thing happening in the states with comics and action figures etc. I guess, much like Transformers, it was just a matter of time before they picked it up to make a movie.

The plot of the movie is very simple. There are two secret organizations. One is the ‘Joes’ and the other is… i don’t even know. Some weapon manufacturing evil company kind of thing with roots back into the medieval times. That at least tells the intro of the movie. Now the evil organization tries to trick out the good guys with some weapon deal that has to do with some nano-technology that can destroy everything. By everything i mean basically cities and all sorts of materials. Really nasty stuff. The Joes want to get that nanostuff into their hands to have it safe. The evil guys (who actually invented that stuff) want to trick the good guys and stage an accident to make it look like the good guys are responsible for a desaster. That particular desaster is set to take place in Paris. The bad guys want to take down the Eiffel Tower. A ridiculous chasing sequence follows that plot part. The damage that happens in the course of that chasing made me laugh in context of the fact that the good guys actually want to save people. But there is so much destruction and chaos taking place… ridiculous. That summarizes the whole movie. Well… not exactly. While that Eiffel Tower thing would have been the perfect finale… it all happens in the middle of the movie. Yes… there is even more crazy idiotic action stuff coming in the real finale at the end. Another hour into the movie.

This is a long movie. Much too long if you ask me. What you get is a non-stop rollercoaster ride. One action piece after another. In a two hour long movie you can count the quiet moments on one hand. Most of these sequences are indeed full of action and for the first 30mins you think “hell yeah… something happening there!”. After another 30 minutes you’re thinking “man, i need a break”. And that’s basically the whole movie. The interesting thing is you can’t even criticize the movie for that. I guess a GI Joe movie must be exactly what they made there. One after another crazy, over the top action sequence. A minimum story. A minimum character development.

Talking about the acting… well, where to start. Or, does it make sense to talk about that? All i remember is that the ladys, Sienna Miller and Rachel Nichols, looked really sexy. Damn! Really sexy. But that’s it. Oh and Dennis Quaid is in it too. Always like to see him in a movie. Don’t care how junky the movie is.

VFX wise it’s all solid work. By far no high end work. It works for this kind of movie though. Lots explosions, action and stuff.

So yeah… the movie wants to entertain. To a certain level it succeeds. It tries too hard too often. Much like the Transformers movies it all is just too much. If you liked Transformers you will probably like this movie too. If it’s for me… well i would only watch it for the ladys in it. Damn! Sexy! (Sienna… keep the dark hair, seriously!)


GI Joe – Rise Of The Cobra on IMDb

Leave a Reply