If this movie does one thing right. Just one thing! Then it’s giving us Ben Affleck as Batman. And the interpretation of Alfred is really interesting! All the rest… is really strange. If there is a movie that should have a sticker on its poster that suggests the audience to turn their brains off for the viewing, it’s this one. Normally I try to write reviews spoiler free but I really don’t care for this one. The whole movie is in the trailers.
So the movie starts with a flashback of how Bruce Wayne’s parents get murdered (again). How many times do we have to see that part actually?! It’s well shot since Zack Snyder knows how to work with camera angles and all. But it’s boring. We know that part already. After that scene we get another flashback to the end of Man Of Steel. Zod and Superman are fighting it out, right in the middle of Metropolis. Destruction porn. Literally. We follow an aged Bruce Wayne who is in the middle of all that destruction, trying to get to a Wayne Enterprises building right in the middle of Metropolis. Now the movie reaches a fascinating level of stupidity. Bruce Wayne can’t reach the building and calls a guy who is in charge of that building and employees to tell him to evacuate. The guy looks like he’s having no idea why, until he looks out the window where an alien spaceship is doing some serious damage. In context with Man Of Steel that spaceship is there for a while now. And this chief of staff guy doesn’t even notice it or orders the evacuation of the building. Meanwhile two godlike beings fight their way through the city, wreaking havoc and death, in the entire area. Evacuation? Why? Is that a statement on capitalism? Wayne Enterprises seems to have a ‘no evacuation’ policy for some reason. The movie would be over in less than two hours if the people working for Wayne Enterprises would have some brains! If I were in a big city and a giant spaceship comes from the sky… fuck that job, I’m gone! This movie makes no sense from minute one. So instead of a good compact less than 2hrs movie, we get another behemoth with 152 minutes. And they already threaten us with a directors cut kind of release on Bluray. And that’s just one stupid thing in this film.
The plot is as simple as it can be. 2 years after the events of Man Of Steel we’ve defeated the aliens and Superman is seen with a very critical eye. Of course, after all the senseless destruction he caused while fighting Zod. There are some heavy religious undertones that would have worked great if the movie was written better. Bruce Wayne doesn’t like Superman because he’s the reason why his building collapsed and killed so many Wayne Enterprises employees. All of a sudden Lex Luthor shows up and without explanation is very interested in all the alien tech that is around now. He stumbles uppon some Kryptonite and plans to use the Kryptonian technology to build a Superkryptonian out of Zod’s remains. Lex gets permission by the goverment to work on all the technology and manages to enter the wreck of Zod’s ship. Said ship, even two years later, is still right in the middle of Metropolis. (Of course!) If I translate the movie right then Lex has a problem with beings that are too godlike. So he creates another godlike being to fight the other godlike being! Simple! Come on movie… sigh.
So now let’s focus on some positive points. And there definitely are good things in this film. The already mentioned performance of Ben Affleck is the most interesting and good part of this film. I would say that 80% of the Batman stuff works. All the other stuff that is sprinkled into this film seems to disrupt the Batman movie that is in this movie. I also liked Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. The character definitely needed some clearly explained motivation for his actions but I kind of enjoyed him. Amy Adams as Lois Lane looked cute, got something more to do and does a nice job with what she is given compared to Man Of Steel. And I want to see a standalone Alfred movie that explains his past and how he got so badass. Jeremy Irons is great in that part and I enjoyed him as much as Ben Affleck.
Back to the bad points again. Throughout the movie there are multiple attempts to introduce more of DC Comic’s character catalogue. Aside of the introduction of The Flash and Wonder Woman these parts fell completely flat. Aquaman looked ridiculous and I really cannot see how they want to make a complete movie out of that guy. I have my doubts about Wonder Woman as well. Gal Gadot is a beautiful woman that looks the part, but she is a bad actress. I also still don’t feel Henry Cavill’s Superman. He’s so bland and we get the impression that he is constantly miserable and unhappy. Lois and Clark are already a couple by the way. The movie completely skips that part. Why put positive emotions or romance into a Superman movie?! (That’s sarcasm.)
Let’s get to the meat of this movie! The Batman/Superman fight sequence. Beside the fact that it’s boring and repetetive (like most of the superhero battles throughout the past 10 years) it is cringe worthy how this clash of the titans ends. Within 30 seconds these two guys, who just beat the crap out of each other, are best friends forever. Man it must have been hell for Ben Affleck to not be able to rewrite parts of this film. He’s a fantastic screenwriter and director. Poor Ben. This film could have benefited from a gifted writer so much. There are so many scenes where you are asking yourself “did he just say that?” or “did he just do that?”. It’s actually a quite amazing mess.
In the end of the movie all our heroes team up to fight “Doomsday”, the abomination Lex Luthor has created and unleashed onto Metropolis. Now the character of Doomsday isn’t even a real character. He’s like a walking nuclear bomb. Nothing more. Doesn’t even say a single word. To avoid a disaster finale like in Man Of Steel, the movie goes out of its way to make clear that all the areas are either evacuated or abandoned. Two minutes after the big fight starts, someone in a situation room says that Metropolis has been evacuated. It would take multiple hours to evacuate a city like Metropolis! So this final battle doesn’t do as much damage as the battle in the previous film but it comes close. And you ask yourself how big Metropolis actually is?! It must have three times the size of New York I guess?! Another fascinating part is that Gotham City seems to be a neighborhood of Metropolis. This almost made me laugh. From Metropolis it’s just a look across a river and there is Gotham City. Less than 50 miles away. How convenient! Gotham City is the New Jersey of Metropolis.
Oh well, there is more to talk about but I think the internet pretty much covered that part very well. Let’s just say that I’m very excited for Ben Affleck’s Batman movies. I’m sure he’s able to tickle out some great story from all the comic source material.
I saw this movie in 2D. Thank god. I would have left the screening with a headache, would I have seen this film in 3D. That’s for sure. I cannot even say if this movie is good popcorn entertainment since even the characters in the film constantly looked like they have the most miserable time of their lives. A really weird movie.
Batman V Superman on IMDb